I wanted to share part of an essay out of the book I'm currently reading. The book is Plan B Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott. She is my favorite author. If you have never read her, I highly recommend it. She is bright, edgy, funny, spiritual and in recovery to boot!
"Ham of God"
On my forty-ninth birthday, I decided that all of life was hopeless, and I would eat myself to death. These are desert days. Better to go out by our own hands than to endure slow death by scolding at the hands of the Bush administration. However, after a second cup of coffee, I realized that I couldn't kill myself that morning - not because it was my birthday but because I'd promised to get arrested the next day. I had been arrested three weeks earlier with an ecumenical bunch of religious peaceniks, people who still believe in Dr. King and Ghandi. Also, my back was out. I didn't want to die in crone mode. Plus, there was no food in the house. So I took a long, hot shower instead and began another day of being gloated to death.
Everyone I know has been devastated by Bush's presidency and, in particular,m our country's heroic military activities overseas. I can usually manage a crabby hope that there is meaning in mess and pain, that more will be revealed, and that truth and beauty will somehow win out in the end. But I'd been struggling as my birthday approached. So much had been stolen from us by Bush, from the very beginning of his reign, and especially since he went to war in Iraq. I wake up some mornings pinned to the bed by centrifugal sadness and frustration. A friend called to wish me Happy Birthday, and I remembered something she'd said many years ago, while reading a Vanity Fair article about Hitler's affair with his niece. "I have had it with Hitler," Peggy said vehemently, throwing the magazine to the floor. And I'd had it with Bush.
Everyone I know has been devastated by Bush's presidency and, in particular,m our country's heroic military activities overseas. I can usually manage a crabby hope that there is meaning in mess and pain, that more will be revealed, and that truth and beauty will somehow win out in the end. But I'd been struggling as my birthday approached. So much had been stolen from us by Bush, from the very beginning of his reign, and especially since he went to war in Iraq. I wake up some mornings pinned to the bed by centrifugal sadness and frustration. A friend called to wish me Happy Birthday, and I remembered something she'd said many years ago, while reading a Vanity Fair article about Hitler's affair with his niece. "I have had it with Hitler," Peggy said vehemently, throwing the magazine to the floor. And I'd had it with Bush.
4 comments:
Hi Lizzie! I was doing a search on Anne Lamott and came across your blog. Her words are what get me out of bed some mornings. Sometimes I have to think "what would Anne do?" when I'm dealing with my boundary-testing daughter or the children's soon-to-be-stepmohter?
She makes me feel it's okay that I've had all these flaws, still have them, and to struggle along the best you can trying to be a good person, trying to love your enemies, raising children, letting go and letting God, and doing it as a recovering alcoholic. She reminds me of how far I've come even when all I can see are the negative things and none of the baby steps of success. And more importantly, that God never gave up on me, even when I wanted him to.
And yes, I believe he has a number of ways in which he speaks, birds definitely being one of them. In fact I had a reference in my old blog to him sending me a duck. What, were all the doves I usually get out on assignment? A duck of peace? Only me. I still smile when I think of that evening on the beach. I was probably staring over the water towards your beach (wonderful photos btw). Of course a steel mill was in the way but you'll have that in my neck of the region.
I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I'd be back. And also that you're not alone in many of your struggles. Just remember, take it one day at a time, bird by bird.
Peace to you.
Cindy
This is great stuff! I can't wait to explore this new author for me.
Lizzie! Please email me!
your draft and wls friend,
~Christy
I can't wait to read this! :)
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