bariatric weight loss, regrets, and dignity...

I am not only a recovering drug addict, but a recovering food addict as well. I thought I would post an email I sent to a friend answering some questions she had asked about my progress.

Are you happy you did the surgery?
Um, most definitely yes. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

How much have you lost so far?
As of this morning (12/20/05) I have lost 47 pounds. My surgery date was October 7 and my starting weight was 305.

How much has it impacted your day to day life?
I have officially hit the point where the impact on my daily life is HUGE. It's mostly the little things....the clothes I can fit in, being able to reach my feet to tie shoelaces, being able to see my feet, the ease in standing up from a sitting position and even the ease in (yes, she's gonna say it) sitting down on the toilet, feeling pretty again, not feeling like everyone is staring at the "fat lady", being able to exercise without feeling like I am going to have a heart attack, being able to say, "Yes, honey, I would love to go for a walk with you.", and being able to fit into any chair at any public place. The biggest things are my sound sleep, my depression level (much better) and the absence of physical pain.

How hard is it to eat the way you need to?
Right now, it is honestly not difficult at all. The first several weeks are difficult as you have to slowly progress from liquids to solids and your stomach is tender and sore and not happy much of the time, but that phase passes. Now, I eat just about the same thing that everyone else eats with a few guidelines. I try to avoid sugar, though a certain amount is fine and natural sugars are fine (fructose, lactose...etc.) For example, in my daily coffee, I put a scoop of Splenda baking mix which is half sugar, half splenda. I would never know the difference. I avoid heavily fried foods. I haven't tested this one, but I was warned that super greasy food would not sit well. I HAVE to get my protein in. This one is the most important. I need 65g of protein EVERY DAY. At one point, I got so sick of nasty tasting protein shakes that I wanted to kill myself. But now, I have found an unflavored protein that I mix with crystal light and OJ and it works for me. My stomach is still tender, so certain chunks of meats get kinda "stuck" (you won't understand that until after surgery and then you will say, as I did, "Oh....that's what they meant!") So I stick with the foods that I tolerate well. It is kind of a trial and error process for the first year, so I hear.

I find that when I get really frustrated and wish I could eat sugar or a larger portion, I, quite literally, get over it. I CANNOT eat more than a certain amount so my brain is beginning to catch up with my stomach. It's different from a diet where you obsess and obsess about a food until you finally break down and eat it. There aren't too many things that are off limits after surgery, so a couple bites will do ya. If it is something that you can't have, you can go ahead and eat it, but it will make you violently ill. If you eat too much, it is also very painful.

Have you had any problems with dumping or vomiting? What about diarrhea?
I have never dumped, despite testing my sugar boundaries. I wish I did. I vomited only once, and that was manually. I ate a bite of chicken well before I was to be eating solid foods and it got stuck. I felt like I was going to die so I got rid of it. I have had about half a dozen cases of what I like to call "the mystery sh!ts" which are pretty violent bouts of diarrhea that I can't seem to link to any one food or group of foods. They are getting fewer and further between.

Yeah, I know......nothing like getting down to the nitty gritty!)
Hey, there is no shame in the bariatric world. I have seen threads about having to have the nurse wipe your behind just after surgery. Then I lived it. Then I got hosed and scrubbed down like an elephant in an oversized shower stall. I have no dignity left, and know what? I loved every minute of it. It was all part of the journey.

How long after the surgery were you able to go on with your normal routine (as in back to work, etc.)?
I chose to have open rather than lap, so my recovery time was longer. I wanted to go back after two weeks, but ended up waiting a month which is the norm. Open is a trade-off. You have less of a risk of major complications, but a harder recovery. I was able to really see that first hand as Christy and I have followed each others progress. After six weeks I was able to start working out at the gym (though I had been walking since the day of surgery) and do some real cardio and some light weight training. I have not done anything with my abs or back yet. I will not ride until at least mid-Feb or maybe even March. OH, my mother came and stayed with me for the first several weeks as I could not do anything for myself (except that once I left the hospital, I was able to wipe my own behind). A caretaker is imperative for the first few days (laproscopic) or first few weeks (open) and a good, comfy recliner. And the sugar-free creamsicles rock my world.

Are you planning on having cosmetic surgery to get rid of the excess skin and have you checked out costs, doctors, etc?
You betcha! I have not looked into prices as I am confident that my insurance will cover it as they did with my surgery. I have already had medically documented skin problems, (light yeast infections under folds, and folliculitis rashes in the folds and under my boobies.) so the likely hood of getting a tummy tuck and a breast lift covered is good. Obesityhelp.com is a good resource for this and all other issues pertaining to weight loss surgery.

Add anything else you think I should know!
This is a major life change and a personal decision, so you are ultimately the only one who can make it. I would urge you to research, research, research! Obesityhelp.com is an AMAZING resource. Research your surgeon on there. I would choose a surgeon who has done HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of these procedures. The death rate with this Sx goes up exponentially as the number of surgeries performed goes down. My surgeon has done almost 2000 surgeries and has never had a death. This was important to me. He had also done infinitely more open procedures vs. laproscopic which is one major reason that I chose open. If you are having MAJOR reservations, wait. You'll know when you are ready. When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, it's time. I know that I was at the end of my rope. There was no question about that. I had lost all hope and I knew that this was the only option for me. And I wasn't ready to lay down and die just yet. I gotta lotta living to do yet!