We lost another sister today. Another addict who didn't make it. Her name was Mendy and she made the choice to use one more, and her body was found this morning. She made the choice to leave treatment on Monday with her tax return check in hand and today she is dead.
I don't know what is more tragic; the fact that she died or the fact that she died knowing that there is a better way of life out there. Mendy quit five minutes before the miracle happened.
As the people at that other fellowship told me, there, but by the grace of God, go I. As the speaker at the NA convention last weekend shared, she gave us the ultimate Twelfth step. Our Twelfth step reads, "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." She gave her life so someone else doesn't have to. She carried the message that we have a choice today. We have the freedom to choose life today.
In the world of addiction, to choose to use is to choose death. Our Basic Text tells us that, "For us, to use is to die, often in more ways than one." I know that I was in a state of decay when I got clean. I had been dead inside for years and I was slowly rotting from the inside out. It was only a matter of time before I would have disappeared from life all together.
In the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, I found hope. I found freedom from active addiction. I found a relationship with the God of my understanding. I found a family. I found joy. I found freedom from the bondage of self. I found LIFE.
And just think, if I'da used, I'da missed the whole thing.
And Just for today....
I choose LIFE.
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